Let’s face it, we’ve all found ourselves in the delete-reinstall cycle with Tinder. Since the app launched in 2012, it’s changed a lot in terms of how we go about dating.Tinder in Cape Town is an interesting case because we’re lucky enough to live in a bustling metro so all sorts of characters are constantly in and out of the city. We’ve been on the app for a while in our quest to find True Love™ (or something adjacent?) and found some running threads in the types of guys we come across.
Here are 5 Cape Town Tinder types you might swipe across when you’re in the city, along with some potential bio’s and where they might take you on a first date!
1. The Wholesome Hippie:
How to spot them from their photos: Tree pose on Camps Bay beach or on top of Lion’s Head at sunset, colourful trousers, barefoot in most photos
Bio buzzwords: “vegan” “something about aligning your chakras” “ 4/20” “plant emoji/prayer hands emoji”.
Where he’ll take you on first date: hiking if you’re lucky, his commune if you’re unlucky
Spotify anthem – Something from the ‘Binaural Beats’ Spotify playlist
2. The Traveler:
How to spot them from their photos: Generic beach pic, generic mountain pic, recognizable monument from the world’s capitals in every photo
Bio buzzwords: Multiple flag emojis instead of a bio / “In CT for a week”
Where he’ll take you on first date: He’s not taking you anywhere sis, you’re taking him on a tour around the city
Spotify Anthem – Africa by Toto
3. The “can’t believe he swiped right” hottie that you thought was out of your league:
(*spoiler alert no man is ever out of woman’s league, it only works the other way round!)
Bio: “[insert modelling agency name here]” / Doesn’t have a bio because his dashing good looks are enough
Where he’ll take you on first date: Honestly, we don’t know. These types are usually so dull we’ve unmatched before it gets that far. Please let now if you’ve made it to a date with this type and where you went!
Spotify Anthem – A bad EDM/Techno remix of a song that didn’t need a remix
4. The “private-school-oke turned real estate broker”:
How to spot them from their photos: Multiple group photos, always in skinny jeans, new balances and a K-way jacket, summer outfit is pastel shorts and a vest featuring lots of side boob, might be a Bishop’s old boy
Bio: “I solemnly swear…” / “here for a good time not a long time”
Where he’ll take you on first date: The aquarium
Spotify Anthem – Legend by Drake
5. The Creative:
How to spot them from their photos: Vans Old Skools, minimum one (1) photo taken on 35mm film, a bucket hat, fanny pack across the chest.
Bio buzzwords: “Flowerboy” “Photographer” + an instagram handle
Where he’ll take you on first date: Yours Truly / First Thursday
Spotify anthem – Anything from Frank Ocean’s discography
If you find yourself thinking wow this is so accurate, don’t worry. We haven’t been stalking your tinder matches. None of these types are inherently good or bad types of people, but we can definitely say that the demographics on the app have become quite predictable. Still, we swipe! No matter how bad it gets, we find ourselves going back with high hopes of finding a humble, funny, 10/10 who wants to play out our romcom dreams.
Are you guilty of this pattern? Let us know if we missed any out and if anyone you’ve gone out with matches these descriptions!